Surviving Through Changes (The out of order Ebonics Abridged Series)
by TTY7
Summary: A drabble series that takes an old fanfiction written by the always sugar high TTY7 and twists it into an unrecognizable, unreadable, and flat out insulting piece that no one should ever read, but you're going to read it anyway because it's in ebonics and ebonics are hilarious, and those who follow The Golden Strands need a laugh right about now. (Dedicated to SuperNova23)
1. Chapter 1

A/N: To honor the great work of Little Kuriboh a.k.a. the creator of Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged, I decided to make an ebonics version of a random chapter in Surviving Through Changes because I was bored and because SuperNova 23 (One of my best friends on this site) thought it'd be funny to do this. So for this, I picked a section of chapter 37 of the story, Arena of Lost Souls Part 2. Hopefully you guys will like it. (I've actually had this on hand for a while, but didn't think about posting it until now. For those of you who've been reading Golden Strands...I think at this point you guys need some humor to pick up your moods because...Golden Strands isn't going to be getting any happier. It's going to get darker, so much so that Sora and company from Kingdom Hearts are going to have to come storming in with keyblades to lock up my crazy brain.)

Warning: This is pure humor and craziness. Not meant to be taken seriously and is not meant to be understood at all. And since this is ebonics, just about everything is grammatically incorrect. Just find the humor and laugh. Also if you have not read **Surviving Through Changes** , read that story first and then come back. This story is not only abridged and ebonicized (not a word, made it up) but out of order too.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, Sailor Moon, or any references to Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged.

Yo da Arena o' Lost Souls Part 2 (Excerpt)

Yo, at da entrance ta da cave

(Wif da gang)

Da dark an' murky cave seemed like da last place Joey would ever go an' brothas really wanted ta turn around an' get back out in da sun, but dey realized realz quickly dat dey all had ta press forward.

"What iz dis here place?" Tristan asked as he looked at the candles that offered some light.

"We's bettah be careful, dis here could be uh trap," Yugi stated.

Tristan glanced back at Mina. "Ah wouldn't be surprised if it wuz one."

"Werd up peep at dat," Tea exclaimed, pointing at two wooden coffins ahead. "Wut up wif deez coffins just standing in da middle o' dis here cave?"

Bakura walked over to one of them and Tea walked towards the other other. "Beats me Tea, it's very odd."

Bakura did not translate very well at all.

Anyway, Yugi, Mina, and Tristan looked at them as if dez was madness...whatever that means.

"Yo, I wouldn't whack those," Yugi warned.

"Yeah, I wouldn't either honey-style biscuit," Mina added. "Fo' all yo' know dere could be skeletons in dere for realz."

Tea scoffed. "Don' be silly Mina, deez here is just props…" she trailed off when she noted that da chains attached to the coffins wuz moving. Da coffins themselves wuz opening. An' not a moment later, skeletons fall out o' da coffins an' latch themselves onto da two teens.

"AAAAAAAAAH!" Bakura an' Tea began running around in circles screaming, "Get them thangz off, get them thangz off!"

Tristan punched one skeleton off o' Bakura an' Yugi awkwardly pushed da other off of Tea. Bakura an' Tea then lay on da ground, utterly speechless.

"Okay Mina honeychild, dat wuz weird," Yugi stated.

Mina sighed, idly remembering her dreams. "Ah've become an oracle lately."

"Dat Pegasus sho has uh sick sense o' humor," Tristan commented, shaking his head an' helping Bakura an' Tea off da ground. Bof o' dem wuz still in mild shock.

Ten minutes later though, everything wuz running moderately smoof. Tea, Tristan, Yugi, an' Mina wuz traveling through da cave.

"Still nahh sign o' Joey," Tristan stated, sighing an' then he noticed dat someone wuz missing. "Where's Bakura?"

Tea looked around. "We's didn't take any turns, so ah don' know where he could gots gone."

Tristan set his gaze on Mina again. "Aight ribbon biscuit child, what did you do? Don't make me shank ya up in dis here cave!"

Man, is it me or is Tristan straight up gansta in this? Anyway, let's carry on.

"Yo!" Mina scowled in da black darkness. "Ah didn't do anythin`Tristan. Lay off already…"

"AAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"See!" Mina shouted, sticking her tongue out at Tristan. He glared at her an' then turned his attention toward Bakura's screams. "Werd up Bakura, ova here…"

"HELP ME!" he screamed, his silhouette appearing. A skeleton wuz latched onto his back.

"AAAAAAAAAAAH!" Tea, Tristan, Yugi, an' Mina took off running, determined not ta let da skeleton get them. "Get dis here thing offa me! It's cutting off me circulation ya'll."

Another ten minutes later, Tristan wuz stomping on da head o' da skeleton while da others wuz sprawled out on da cave floor, completely traumatized.

"From now on, don' pick up any whack hitchhikers," Tristan ordered, da head finally cracking underneath his foot.

Tea groaned. "Is it safe ta open muh peeps now?"

"You know, ah think muh biscuit wounds opened up on dat last turn," Mina stated, being completely dramatic since her wounds hadn't opened up even a little bit.

Yugi sat up an' laughed nervously as he spoke, "You gave us all quite uh scare with dat skeleton Bakura." Bakura muttered a quiet sorry as he finally gots up on his knees.

"Never mind dat," Tristan commanded, "We's've gots another problem ta deal with."

"An' wut dat be?" Mina asked as she gots ta her feet, she gestured fo' Artemis ta git on her shoulder again. He did so effortlessly.

"Yo and I mean yooo! Which way is we's supposed ta go?" he asked, pointing at a fork in da tunnel. "Anybody gots any ideas?"

Tea's eyebrows crinkled up as she stared at each pathway. Bof wuz dark, murky, an' looked frightening.

"Wow, can't say," she told him. "Both are so inviting."

Tristan rolled his peeps. "Joey iz in one o' deez tunnels an' we's need ta figure out which one."

"Tristan's right," Yugi stated, getting ta his feet. "We's need ta find Joey now."

Tea an' Bakura gots up. "Right."

Dat wuz when Bakura stepped in somethin` he shouldn't have. "Werd up, muh motha goose toe has sprung a trap yo!"

At least Bakura is translating better now, but at this point I'm wondering if this ebonics thing was a big fat mistake.

A sudden sound caught Mina's ears. "Wut dat sound?"

"Ah stepped on uh switch or somethin`…"

"Quiet now," Yugi kindly commanded. Bakura slapped his hands ova his mouth. Yugi then ordered them all ta listen an' dey listened.

"It's getting louder," Tristan stated.

Tea nodded. "An' ah think its headed dis here way."

Mina had a really bad feeling 'bout that sound. "Pimpz, what exactly iz coming."

Bakura responded by trembling an' sayin` "Awww dear," for da duration of ten agonizing seconds. An' then…da giant rolling boulder appeared.

"AAAAAAAH! EVERYBODY RUN!"

Apparently freak out moments are universal in every language. No translation necessary.

Dey all chose da path on da left an' da boulder unfortunately followed. Tea wuz practically crying as dey ran. "WHY iz dat BOULDER CHASING US!"

"Probably cause we's be going down hill honeychild madness," Tristan replied, picking up his pace.

"Ah'm sorry, ah'm sorry, ah'm sorry," Bakura chanted, knowing he'd caused da peril o' his honey dough biscuits. While he wuz chanting, his foot caught onto uh random rock an' he felt himself tripping. He gasped an' da others, hearing it, turned around.

"Bakura naaaaaaaahh!" Tea screamed as Mina nodded fo' Artemis ta get off her shoulder. He leaped off an' ran ahead o' da others. Mina wuz da closest ta Bakura so she hurriedly reached behind her an' grabbed his arm, forcing him ta catch himself. She then shoved him forward, which made him run faster, but ta do so she had ta stop which meant dat da boulder…

Yugi, Tristan, Tea, Bakura, an' little Artemis looked back in horror as da boulder ran ova her, crushing her ta da ground.

"It gots Mina!" Yugi screamed. Tea screamed louder, completely terrified. Bakura had started crying. "I wants muh motha and ya'll is mad stupid!"

Tristan's gaze wuz fixed straight ahead. "Don' peep back, keep running or…" He trailed off when he noticed dat ahead o' him wuz uh dead end.

"YOU'VE GOTS TA BE KIDDING!"

"Dis here be uh nightmare!" Bakura screamed as da four of them stopped at da end. Da poor lad wuz so distraught dat he ended up falling ta da floor, simultaneously curling up into the fetal position as a means ta protect himself.

Tea screamed again. "Naaaahh! I say here naaah! BAKURA'S BECOME UH GREEN!"

Yugi an' Tristan sweat-dropped. Bakura an' Tea wuz being way ova dramatic. Sho dey wuz 'bout to die, but somethin` like dat didn't page fo' theatrics.

"Well, what is we's gonna do?" Yugi asked, oddly calm as he watched Artemis curl up into uh ball next ta Bakura.

Tristan turned uh fierce glare toward da boulder. "Well, since dere's nahh where left ta run, its tyme ta fight."

And time is spelled with a "Y" for some unexplained reason. Good heavens, is there a real person who talks like this or is this just a slam against black people? I take some slight offense if it is. I mean seriously, I do not talk like this! No one in my family talks like this!

Well, except maybe one of my uncles...but that's beside the point.

"What!" Yugi exclaimed. "You can't!"

"Why can't I honey-buscuit?" Tristan asked.

Yugi rubbed his temples in frustration. "Do you not realize dat be uh giant boulder. Dat thing will flatten you out, run you ova, child dat thing will bloody kill you, big bloody buggar."

And there's the obligatory slam at the British. Oh, I feel so bad right now. I'm not being sarcastic either, I really do feel bad for writing in a stereotypical nature. It's something that's truly, truly despicable. These stereotypes don't bring us together, they divide people, not to mention that it throws proper grammar and all sanity to the wind.

Maybe that's why it's so funny. Anyway...

"Ah gots ta try somethin`," Tristan replied, rushing forward, fist high in da air. He knew dat he wuz 'bout to die, but he would die uh hero. So when he punched da boulder an' it popped well, fo' da first tyme he wuz speechless. "Dat wuz uh balloon?"

Bakura immediately rose ta his feet, livid with fury. "SERIOUSLY YO!"

Tea sighed as she watched Bakura throw uh tantrum. "Apparently."

Yugi glanced ta da side an' noticed uh small speaker. "Someone wired dat speaker fo' sound. Wanna bet it wuz Pegasus?"

Tea walked ova ta Mina, who wuz laying face down on da ground. "You okay Mina?"

Mina glanced up at her as Artemis scampered ova. "Ah swear dis here island iz trying ta kill me."

Yugi sighed. "Pegasus obviously spared naaahh expense ta scare us half ta deaf."

I'm not even going to bother pointing out why using "Deaf" for "Death" is a jacked up spelling.

Bakura clenched his fists. "Why dat bloody nahh pimp-tight scum iz going ta get it when ah see him!"

Brothas and sistas sighed. It would appear dat Joey's temper wuz starting ta rub off on da normally peaceful British peep. What 'chew thinkin' man?

* * *

A/N: I can't believe I let SuperNova23 talk me into writing this. But, I figure that after all the horrible things you guys have had to read in Golden Strands, you all needed a flashback to some humor. Since I've hit writer's block for Golden Strands, if you guys want, I'll keep making these ebonics excerpts of Surviving Through Changes. Let me know if you all are interested in that. For now, this foxy, mad-cool, soul sista is signing out honey biscuits. Word.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Yeah, I'm posting another one of these. What of it?

Disclaimer: I don't know how to talk like a pimp; therefore, this pimp talk is not my normal style. Just sayin. Also, I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or Sailor Moon.

Quick Note: Obviously I used an ebonics translator for this piece. I had to edit this piece heavily to make sure that there were no random F-bombs floating around down there among other profanities that I rather not use in my work. However, I may have missed one or two while editing. I've read over this three times now and I'm confident that the profanities are gone leaving no offensive language left down there...aside from the general grammatically incorrect drivel that shouldn't even pass as English. Anyway, if you guys spot an accidental F-bomb or something similar, please let me know as soon as possible so that I can correct it. The same goes for the previous chapter and any chapters that follow this one.

Warning: Very poor grammar ahead. The horror is real. Also, I included inserted commentary from me that's written ( _like this)._ You need one voice of reason in this fanfic, right?

 **Mina: You are no voice of reason. Anyone whose read your work already knows this.  
TTY7: Quiet you!**

* * *

Yo Chapter 29

We's've Only Just Begun (The First Excerpt)

8:19 p.m.

Mina P.O.V.

Darkness. Dat is all I can see.

When I said ah wuz walking da paf o' darkness, it wasn't supposed ta be taken literally. However, since ah'm in dis here butter cream pie, da only choice ah gots right now iz ta wonder what da heck iz going on.

( _Hmm, perhaps you are dreaming, Mina. I mean, it is a butter cream pie we're talking about. Sounds delicious. Anyway, proceed.)_

Last ah remember, dat idiot Joey attacked da assassin afta ah told him ta escape. Dho, ah'd been 'boutto git ganked, but maybe dat wouldn't gots been so bad fo' me. Other than saving muh motha goose pimp father, ah don't gots much ta live fo'. O' course, thinkin` such things iz entirely mad stupid.

( _That it is Mina. That it is.)_

Still, it's cuz o' Joey dat ah've been forced ta face da paf o' darkness dat I walk on.

Surely, dis here be uh dream though. Ah can't literally be walking in an endless void o' darkness. Things like dat don' happen in real life do dey? Unless…be I dead?

Nahh, I'm not going ta think like dat either. Ah mean, one can't rationally think when dey're dead right? So then…what iz going on?

Uh murmuring o' voices broke into muh thoughts as ah continued ta try an' process what wuz happening. Da voices wuz very incoherent at first, but afta uh moment things started ta clear up.

"Ah can't believe dis here happened," Uh heffa's voice said. Prob'ly Tea if ah'm guessing right.

"Ah can't either," another voice agreed. I figured it wuz Tristan.

Someone bit into uh candy bar. "Pegasus mus' gots done dis here." Obviously dis here hood rat wuz Yugi.

"Pegasus?" another heffa questioned. Dis here voice wuz unfamiliar though.

I heard uh slight groan next ta me.

"Werd up, ah think Joey iz waking up!" Tea exclaimed while mo' rustling an' fumbling went on in da background. It wuz minutes 'bfoe ah heard anythin` else.

"Yo hood rats…where's Mina!"

I mentally sighed. " _Thank goodness. Dat knucklehead ain't dead yet_."

"She's right here next ta you," Yugi stated. "Don' trip she's just unconscious."

"Will she wake up?" Joey asked his voice completely unaffected by the random ebonics filtering into this story.

I felt muh lips move, but not much came out. Muh motha's of pimp-tight voice wuz really raspy.

"Mina?" Muh peeps started twitching a bit an' when I wuz finally able ta open muh peeps, da light o' da fire almost blinded me. I turned my head an' seen dat Joey wuz looking down at me, da light o' da fire reflecting in his brown peeps. I stared at him an' tried ta smile as I spoke. "You. Is. An. Idiot."

Joey scowled slightly. "Well, looks like someone's feelin bettah."

( _Okay, is it just me or is Joey pretty much normal? Guess he always spoke like a pimp. Anyway, continue onward_.)

"Now somebody git me some chips. Ah'm starving ova here."

( _Yes, because "Get" is spelled with an "I" apparently.)_

Muh peeps had ta adjust ta the surroundings as ah tried sitting up. I felt hands on muh shoulders, trying in vain ta git me back down.

"Werd up, you in nahh condition ta move," da unfamiliar voice said. I looked an' seen who da voice belonged ta. It wuz uh young heffa o' 'bout nineteen or tweny. She had a long blonde fro an' violet peeps. She wore purple…

"Do ah know you?" Ah asked, not sho where ah'd seen her 'bfoe.

"Nahh, but ah did bandage all yo' wounds so its prob'ly bomb not ta reopen dem."

" _Wounds_?" I wondered inwardly. "You bandaged dem?"

She nodded.

"Thank you…"

"Da name iz Mai Valentine"

"Right, thanks Mai, but ah'm hungry too," I said. "Come on, ah gots enough strengf ta at least sit up. Besides, if Joey iz allowed ta ah should be too."

Mai smiled. "Aight, ah guess ah can allow it." She let go o' muh shoulders an' ah sat upright. Ah quickly grabbed uh bag o' potato chips an' uh soda.

"Can you pimpz explain what happened though?" Tea asked, stroking Artemis's fur. He wuz gazing worriedly at me so ah smile at him ta reassure his worries. He smiled back. Joey however had an expression o' livid fury.

"Well, ah wuz walking wif Tristan when I heard rustling. Ah tried ta figure out where it'd been coming from an' by da tyme ah turned back around Tristan wuz gone an' ah'd lost muh glory hallelujah sense o' good lord's direction. So I wuz aimlessly walking around wif da firewood an' then ah tripped. Artemis scared me half ta deaf an' then he started hissing. I guess he wuz trying ta warn me o' what wuz happening. Out o' nowhere deez pimpz show up wearing all black an' say they going ta use me ta git ta Mina on account o' Pegasus."

Yugi scowled. "But why would Pegasus go afta you, Mina? Weren't you working fo' him?"

Mina wuz silent for a moment. "Afta ah lost dat duel ta you…he called dis here cell an' asked if I would…kill Kaiba."

Brothas froze. Brothas froze for realz.

"He asked you ta do what!" Joey screeched, Brooklyn rage activating. "Why dat slim ball!"

( _See, Joey actually does talk like this legitimately.)_

"Calm down Joey," Tea ordered gently. "You might open dat wound on yo' shoulder."

"What did you do?" Tristan asked me.

"I helped Kaiba escape Pegasus's goons," I answered. "Obviously Pegasus expected me ta, just like he expected me ta take dat card from him."

"What card?" Mai asked. I figured Mai wouldn't know 'bout the mystic baloney so told her dat it wuz uh card very valuable ta Pegasus. Mai nodded her response an' ah continued. "So…he used Joey ta draw me out," I told dem, expertly maneuvering around da fact dat Joey had been in possession o' da soul card. "Ta git da card back."

"Did those goons git it?" Tea asked. Ah glanced at Joey. His expression told it all.

( _You had one job Wheeler. You had ONE job!)_

"Yeah, dey gots it back," I stated. "Still, ah'm just glad dat we's made it out o' dere in well…almost in one piece."

Yugi frowned. "Pegasus has crossed da line dis here tyme. He can't play wif peoples lives like it's uh game an' git away wif it tyme an' tyme ag'in. Ah swear as soon as ah git ta dat castle…"

"Take it easy Yugi," I cut in. "We's'll gots plenty o' tyme ta enact revenge on Pegasus later. Fo' now lets try ta relax."

"Kind o' hard ta do dat when you wuz almost ganked," Joey commented, taking uh hefty gulp o' his soda. Ah smacked him across da head. "Werd up! What wuz dat fo'?"

"Fo' being an idiot ag'in," I replied impishly. "Like ah said, dere's nahh point in worrying 'bout Pegasus now. He'll pay fo' what he did. Ah'll see ta dat."

Joey scowled at me.

"Mina…"

"Shut up an' eat," I interrupted, throwing potato chips into muh mouf. Silence lingered around da campsite as we's all ate. Dizziness fell upon me every now an' ag'in, but ah did muh bomb ta keep uh straight face through it. Obviously da head wound ah'd received had caused some damage ta muh goose senses. Still, wif uh little tyme ah'd be just fine. Afta all, Sailor Scouts is known ta heal on the flip.

Da others relaxed uh little bit. Dey started jivin' 'bout random things in order ta stray off da topic o' Pegasus. Dat wuz fine by me. Pegasus wuz da last thin` ah really wanted ta be thinkin` 'bout anyhow. O' course, it's hard not ta think 'bout Pegasus an' what he nearly did ta Joey an' me. It's hard not ta think 'bout the harsh realities dat keep plaguing me ova an' ova ag'in. Still, justice can't be served while ah'm wounded like dis here. Ah'm going ta need ta git uh pimp-tight nights sleep tonight if ah plan on dueling tomorrow.

" _Two mo' star-chips_ ," I thought idly. "Then ah'll gots enough ta enter da castle an' really give Pegasus uh piece o' muh moth mind."

( _Moth mind? Interesting choice of words...)_

"Anyway we's should prob'ly stop snacking on dis here junk chickn n` corn bread 'n waffles an' finish cooking up **da real** chickn n` corn bread 'n waffles," Mai stated, cutting into da thoughts. I watched her as she lightly kicked Joey's leg. "Come on an' he`p me out Joseph."

"Would you quit calling me dat!" Joey exclaimed. "An' fo' yo' 411 ah'm not exactly in da bomb shape right now."

"Yeah, ah don' wants him opening up dat shoulder wound," Tea stated.

Mai just smiled it off. "He don' need bof arms ta he`p. I just need him ta stir da contents o' dis here little package." She held up uh small bag o' instant rice an' uh bag o' instant chickn n' corn bread 'n waffles."

"Fine, whatever," Joey replied getting up slowly an' taking da instant chickn n' corn bread 'n waffles from her. "Let me rip deez open fo' ya."

"Awww, nahh need fo' dat," Mai replied, gently taking it back from him. "I can do dat myself."

"I insist on openin' dis here package," Joey told her, taking it back.

"Ah said dat ah could do it!"

"Can't you see ah'm trying ta be polite?"

"How? By insulting me?"

"How be it that I insulteth you milady?"

( _Whoa! Wait a minute Joey! We're in ebonics speak not random knight's of the round table speak.)_

My head tis be ringing as dey continue shouting. Yugi an' Tea continually tried ta stop the arguing, but dey weren't doin' a pimp-tight job. So ah stepped in wif somethin` ah knew would shut da two o' dem up.

"You know, da two o' you act like an old married couple."

Dat did it. Joey an' Mai immediately stopped arguing an' cooked da chickn n` corn bread 'n waffles in uh peaceful, quiet manner while trying ta avoid looking at each other as much as possible. I laughed silently ta myself when ah noticed da bof o' dem wuz blushing. Ah suppose love iz in da air.

"Wow, nice one Mina," Tristan commented. "Ah've never seen Joey so quiet in all da tyme ah've known him."

Tea laughed. "He's prob'ly embarrassed an' it looks like Mai iz too."

"Shut up," Da two o' dem ordered at once. We's all laughed then, though laughing prob'ly wasn't da bomb thin` ta do wif da injury across dis here chest. Opening it up would cause all o' us ta slip back into uh somber mood, an' ah didn't wants dat. Truf be told, ah wanted ta forget any o' it had happened at all.

Once da chickn n` corn bread 'n waffles wuz all cooked, Mai put servings o' it on paper plates an' handed dem out ta da brothas. We's all immediately dug in.

"Wow, dis here iz great," I exclaimed, grubbing it up.

"My voice agrees," Tristan said cheerfully, breaking character. Nice. Just nice.

( _Mina, try to stick to the script.)_

Must I?

( _Yes. You must. Do you want things to get worse in Golden Strands?)_

I sighed.

( _Carry on!)_

"You bet it's great since ah helped make it," Joey proclaimed, devouring da chickn n` corn bread 'n waffles on his plate like he'd never eaten chickn n' corn bread 'n waffles 'bfoe in his life.

"Tasty," Yugi stated, speaking normally for once. "How's yours Tea?"

Tea chewed on da chickn n` corn bread 'n waffles happily. "I give it four stars."

Dis here seemed ta remind Yugi o' somethin` so he perked up. "Speaking o' stars, how many do you gots Mai? Wuz it eight or nine? Either it way it seems ta me dat you be in da zone." Eh, so much for Yugi speaking normally.

( _Mina, I told you to stop doing that!)_

In this moment, I figure that the authoress can't do much more than she already has to me, but for the sake of coherency, let's just continue before she starts throwing a tantrum.

( _I...fine!)_

Mai had been sipping on her soda, an' afta she swallowed she gave Yugi uh pointed peep. "Nice try, but ah won't fall fo' yo' nice gangsta routine."

Yugi looked hurt an' da happy atmosphere dat had surrounded us uh few minutes earlier wuz suddenly ruined.

"Besides it's only uh matter o' tyme 'bfoe you…"

"Can't we's forget 'bout the tournament fo' one night?" Tea asked angrily. "Gots you not realize how many brothas suffered cuz o' it Mai."

A cold an' bitter silence fell upon all da brothas and soul sistas. Da memories o' what had happened only an hour ago came swoopin in and devoured the chickn n' corn bread n' waffles on all da plates. At da same tyme, I remembered da horrible mistake ah'd made. I called out Joey's name just 'bfoe ah sent out an attack ta da assassin dat wuz 'bout to kill him. If he heard me, then he mus' know da secret of da mega ultra chicken an' if da secret of da mega ultra chicken…

"Please, lets just not jive 'bout it," Tea begged.

"Yeah, lets make fun o' Joey instead. Dat's always fun right?" Tristan asked, trying ta lighten up da mood. "Ah mean peep at dat hairdo, it's laughable right Mina?"

My fist was a pimp-tight madness. "Wut iz laughable iz how idiotic he iz."

Tristan's forced smile faltered. "Uh…"

"His pride gots in da way at da most ridiculous moment," I continued sourly. "He nearly gots himself ganked trying ta protect me when he had nahh reason ta. So yeah, if anythin` 'bout Joey iz laughable its dat he don' gots no shred o' common sense."

Joey said nuttin'. He didn't even peep at me.

Mai gots up suddenly an' started walking away. Yugi turned around as she passed. "Where is you going Mai?"

"Fo' uh walk ya mad stupid porcupine," she replied stopping momentarily. "Let me make one thin` clear ta all o' ya madness broths of cornbread. Any duelist in muh pimp-tight way iz going down."

"Word up my brothas, she can really ruin uh meal," Joey commented taking slow bites out o' his chickn n` corn bread 'n waffles now. "An' ah did gots uh reason ta protect ya Mina. Da fact dat you don' know what it iz makes you da mad stupid one."

As I glared at him, Joey locked his gaze wif mine. I expected ta see anger in his peeps, but instead ah found dat his peeps wuz filled wif muted sadness. Seeing dat made me feel immediate guilt ova it. Ah guess I gots uh little carried away, but could he really blame me fo' it? Da whole reason ah wuz dere wuz ta save him an' instead he tries ta save me.

" _He mus' gots known all along dat it wuz me_." I thought. " _Ah knew da resemblance between da Sailor Venus card an' me wuz too incriminating. I should gots known not ta play it during dat mad stupid kentucy durby duel...Kentucky durby duel? Really?"_

( _The script! Read the dang script woman!)_

I heard uh sudden rustling an' immediately gots ta muh feet. "Someone's back dere."

Tristan, Yugi, an' Joey gots ta they feet too. "It's prob'ly Mai trying ta pull uh prank on us," Joey said.

"Either dat or…"

"Or da assassins gots come ta finish da job," I finished, turning around ta face da bushes. "We's bettah be on our guard."

"Wait, Mina, yo' wounds," Tea began.

"Stay back," I commanded. "Don' git involved Tea. Ah'd say da same fo' da rest o' you, but ah suppose ah'll need some back up."

"Back up?" Joey asked. "Yo, you wounded Mina. You can't fight now."

"Joey…"

"Enough, stop arguing," Tristan cut in. "My voice commands it!"

Everyone gave Tristan a weird look.

"Okay, not that it matters, but could you stick to the script Tristan?" I asked to save the authoress the trouble of having to repeat herself. "This is already convoluted enough. Please don't get the legit abridged series involved or things are really going to go to crap."

"Too late for that," Yugi muttered.

Tristan coughed. "Sorry. Anyway, bof o' you need ta stay back too. Let me an'…well Yugi you might wants ta stay back too. You know just cause."

Yugi frowned, his grimace lookin' particularly naaaaasty. "Making fun o' me ag'in?"

"Nahh, ah just…" Da rustling returned an' we's wuz all alert.

"Come out o' dere!" Joey shouted. "Or prepare fo' uh throw down."

A single British bloke stepped out from da shadows. He had long somewhat spiky whitey fro an' dark brown peeps. He wuz young, prob'ly uh high skoo student. He wore uh cream sweater ova uh teal dress shirt an' jeans. I sighed in relief, knowing he had ta be harmless.

"BAKURA!" Brothas around me screamed, causing da pounding in da head ta git worse. Deez maddening peeps really need ta calm down uh bit.

"See, ah told you ah wasn't just seeing things!" Tea exclaimed.

Joey stepped up toward Bakura. "What is you doin' all da way out here?"

"Same as you pimpz ah guess, though.." He stared at Joey's shoulder. "I somehow doubt dat wuz part o' yo' plans."

Truf be told, I hadn't really been paying attention ta Joey's appearance so when I finally really gots uh pimp-tight peep at him, I nearly gasped. His cheek had uh large bandage ova it an' his green jacket had been discarded fo' da tyme being, revealing his whitey t-shirt dat wuz stained wif blood at da shoulder, though ah could see dat da wound had been bandaged as well. His left wrist wuz also bandaged. But what shocked me most wuz how pale he looked. It looked as if he had nahh color ta his skin at all...almost.

"An' you?" Bakura asked gazing at me. "You dat new transfer student aren't you? Minako Aino? You cute shortie."

Oh God this script is awful.

( _Okay, just for that...you're going to **[Spoiler]** and then you'll **[Spoiler]** and then when this **[Spoiler]** happens, everything will be **[Spoiler]** )_

"Yeah, okay, just Mina is fine," I stated while extending muh hand out ta Bakura. "It's nice ta meet you Bakura."

He shook dis here hand. "Likewise. You peep fine and pimp-tight despite all da bandages yo' wearing."

I hadn't really had da tyme ta examine myself either an' decided dat ah'd wait until later ta find out how bad ah looked.

"You gave us uh scare creeping around in those bushes," Tristan commented. "We's thought you wuz one o' da goons dat attacked Mina an' Joey."

Bakura laughed nervously. "Sorry, ah just gots lost an' when ah heard voices ah thought ah'd see if dey belonged ta friendly chaps. Guess da bloody hypothesis turned out ta be on da mark."

"Hypothe-what?" Joey an' I bof asked. Brothas sighed. Brotha's sighed for realz.

"Well, why don' we's sit down an' eat," Tea cut in afta uh moment. "We's gots enough fo' one mo' plate."

"Okay."

* * *

In another realm...

"See Mina, was that so bad?"

Mina stared up at the woman known simply as "The Authoress" with contempt blazing in her cerulean gaze. "Yes. Not nearly as bad as what you made me do in Golden Strands, but bad enough. I hate you...with all of my hate."

"Delightful!" The Authoress replied, before cheerfully sinking her teeth into a doughnut. With her mouth full of the delicious food she continued, saying, "Let us continue with the fun in the next chapter!"

A moment of silence passed.

The Authoress let out a sound of sadness before holding out the box of donuts to Mina. "Want one?"

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading this madness. If you liked it, be sure to tell me so in that comment box below. If not, please direct all anger toward SuperNova23 who inspired this work. Stay tuned for the second part of this chapter. Bye everyone.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: And here is the continuation of the last chapter.

Disclaimer: You know the drill.

Warning: Poor grammar ahead and fourth wall breaking. This thing is just going to get more and more convoluted with time. Trust me on that.

Chapter 29

Wes've Only Just Begun (Continuation)

A little later

Joey P.O.V.

Ummm...I...hmmm...

( _It's cool Joey. Take your time. The lines will come to you.)_

Oh! Right! I remember now. Ahem...

I seriously cannot wrap dis here brain around all dat's happened. I can't begin ta register da fact dat Mina iz Sailor Venus even though ah seen her transform wif muh own two peeps. Everything dat happened seems like uh horrible nightmare. But one peep at Mina continually convinces me dat what happened tonight wuz nahh dream. Bandages wuz wrapped around her head an' her chest, though those bandages wuz mostly concealed thanks ta da red jacket Mina wuz wearing. She wore Capri's, which made da bandages on her right calf easily noticeable. Her crystal blue peeps wuz somewhat dim. Obviously she wuz weak, but she kept trying ta convince brothas dat she wuz fine despite all o' da injuries she had. Ah noticed every once in uh while dat she'd cringe at some pain when...

( _Joey, sorry to interrupt you, but this part isn't really interesting. Skip ahead a bit.)_

Oh...but where do I...

"Werd up, Joey?" I glanced at Tristan, glad dat he had saved my booty.

"Yeah?"

"You've been staring at dat card fo' an hour," Tristan replied. "Wut up?" What should ah tell him? I can't say dat ah'm thinkin` o' Mina an' how she's Sailor Venus, dat would blow her cover.

In a flash ah made somethin` up. "Ah'll tell you, just don' laugh." He nodded an' ah continued while glancing at da cards in these here hands. "Sometimes when ah'm dueling ah pretend dat it's me out dere on da field swapping blows wif whatever card da opponent has out." I laughed uh bit. "Ain't dat dum?"

"Well, if you wuz Joey," Bakura began, "Which card would you wants ta be?"

I looked down at da cards an' immediately drew muh favorite one.

"Dis here one," I said, showing it ta brothas. "Da Flame Swordsman kicks everybody's booty." I leaped up from muh sitting position an' began pretending dat ah wuz holding uh sword an' slashing an enemy.

"Joey!" Tea exclaimed. "You shouldn't move like dat wif yo' injuries!"

"Ah'm fine, an' as long as Ah'm da Flame Swordsman, nuttin' can stop me!" I exclaimed.

Tristan stood. "Dat's true up until he comes face ta face wif me, da Cyber Commander."

Tea giggled uh little, her worries forgotten. "You brothas an' yo' cards is hilarious."

"I think all da brothas has uh card dey can identify wif," Yugi told her. "You should see if you gots uh card like dat in yo' deck."

"Okay," Tea replied looking through her own cards. "Ah pick dis here one, da Magician o' Faif."

( _Why is ebonics speak insistent on replacing "th" with "f". It makes no...excuse me...naaaaaaah sense!)_

"What, you gots ta be kidding," Tristan laughed.

( _My sentiments exactly...oh wait you aren't talking about the "th" to "f" thing were you?)_

"Yeah, it's mo' like da Magician o' Freaks ta me," I added.

"Awww, shut up! Her flip effect is awesome!"

( _Hey! Tea! That's not the original line. You didn't know about the flip effect when I originally wrote this story. How the heck did you find out? I'm sorry I keep cutting in but...the inconsistencies here are bothering me a lot.)_

"MEOW!" Tea looked apologetically at Artemis. She'd involuntarily wrung his tail out o' anger. I thought Mina would gots been mad 'bout it, but she wuz laughing uncontrollably.

Bakura turned away from da commotion ta jive ta Yugi. "Tell me which one you identify wif."

"Awww, dat's easy lemon squeezy," Yugi replied as he quickly plucked uh card from his deck. He showed it ta Bakura. "Da Dark Magician hands down."

"How 'bout you Mina?" Bakura asked.

Mina seemed ta blush uh little. "Well, dere is uh lot o' cards ah identify wif, but muh favorite would be dis here one." She pulled out her Sailor Venus card.

"Nahh surprise dere," Tristan stated. "It looks just like you."

"Dat's uh plus," Mina admitted, "But not da reason why ah love dis here card. You see, dis here card reminds me o' da memories ah shared wif da cool kidz back in Japan. It reminds me o' who ah used ta be."

"Used ta be?" Bakura questioned.

"I guess you could say ah wuz uh lot mo' carefree in Japan, but then muh father…" she trailed off an' shook her head, and that shake of her head was accompanied by a really mean looking glare that she directed to some unseen space.

Then, a smile returned ta her face. "Anyway, it's just uh really tight card."

"Meow." Mina glanced ova at da whitey cat as he climbed up on her shoulders. "You gots uh favorite too Artemis?" He purred as Mina go through her cards. He meowed an' extended his paw uh little when he found da one he liked.

"Nice choice," Mina laughed as she took out da card from da deck. "Lunar King iz Artemis's favorite."

Da card wuz fine powerful wif eighteen hundred attack points an' fourteen hundred defense points. Da picture wuz o' uh dude wif whitey fro dat fell onto his shoulders an' blue peeps...like the blue peeps whitey dragon. He wore uh suit o' sliver an' held uh long broad sword.

" _I wonder what secrets da cat iz hiding_ ," Ah thought. " _Afta all, he did jive ta me…wait he talked ta me!"_

"Maybe ah'm just madness," Tea began, "But don' you all think it's uh bit silly ta compare ourselves ta cards?"

"A little," Yugi replied, "But like da gramps with the cramps says, 'It's not 'bout the playing cards its 'bout putting yo' heart into anythin` you care about.'" He turned ta Bakura. "So which card do you care 'bout the most Bakura?"

"Dis here one iz da absolute favorite." Bakura told him, showing us uh card dat had uh picture o' uh half angel an' half devil. In her hand she held uh heart. One half o' da heart wuz pink an' da other wuz black.

"Ain't dat da change o' heart card?" Yugi asked.

"Kind o' uh weird looking picture don' ya think?" I added.

Mina glared at me. "Joey, dat's rude."

"What, just telling it like it iz."

Bakura smirked. "If you all wants ta see how it werkz, we's can gots uh duel right now. Not fo' star-chips, but just fo' uh little fun."

( _We's can gots uh duel? Why ebonics...why do you exist? NO ONE TALKS LIKE THIS!)_

"Sho, ah'm down fo' dat!" I exclaimed.

"Yeah, wif all da star-chip madness it'd be nice ta gots uh duel wif nahh strings attached," Mina stated.

"I agree, uh regular duel sounds like uh great idea," Yugi added.

"Tight," Bakura replied, smirking. "Why don' each o' you put yo' favorite card into Yugi's deck. It'll be like we's be all playing.

"Pimp-tight idea pimp," Tristan commented, putting his card into Yugi's deck. Tea an' I followed, but Mina hesitated uh little.

"Come on Mina, put yo' cards in," I ordered.

"Well, is you sho?" she asked. "Afta everything ah…"

"Listen," I interrupted, taking da two cards. "You risked yo' life tonight ta save me so as far as ah'm concerned we's be tight, aight? We's dig' why you did what you did an' we's forgive you." Mina blinked in confusion...legitimate confusion...because she had no idea what just came out of my mouth. I don't even know what came out of my mouth. Goodness, Madame Authoress...can we please...

( _No.)_

"Really?" Mina was responding to the authoress, but Yugi went ahead and said his line without pause.

"O' course butter biscuit."

"Yeah, now quit yapping you two an' lets start playing," Tristan added.

Mina would have smiled, but found that she couldn't in the wake of this ridiculousness. Can't blame her for that.

Afta Yugi had shuffled all da cards, we's all took our places around him.

"Is you sho you don' mind playing alone?" Tea asked Bakura who wuz seated on da other end o' da rock/table we's wuz sitting at. Da small playing field wuz ready.

"Yeah, it don' seem quite fair," Mina agreed. "I mean, wif dis here all-star deck we's'll be tough ta beat."

I laughed. "Son' trip Bakura we's'll go easy on ya."

Bakura smiled an' thanked me 'bfoe turning his attention ta all o' us. "'Bfoe we's git started, dere's uh little somethin` ah'd like ta share wif you all an' especially wif you Yugi."

Mina let out a long sigh. "Here we go again..."

( _Mina...)_

"I don't care about any of this, okay!"

Now everyone was staring oddly at Mina.

"Anywayz," I cut in, breaking the awkward silence. "Wut you gon sho us?"

"You'll see," Bakura replied, closing his peeps. In an instant he wuz humming somethin` an' his hands wuz hovering around an invisible object.

"Wut he doin'?" Tea asked.

"I don' know, but ah don' like it," Mina replied monotonously as Artemis began hissing on her shoulder. "Somethin` iz definitely not right here."

Bakura's humming increased in volume an' ah swear ah seen somethin` glowing on him.

"Dis here iz getting creepy." I said.

Then out o' nowhere, da glowing ceases an' he's suddenly wearing uh really weird looking necklace. It wuz almost like Yugi's millennium puzzle.

"Another millennium item!" Yugi shouted.

Bakura chuckled darkly an' his voice sounded demonic as he spoke. "Yeea , an' da magic o' muh motha millennium ring will take us ta da Shadow Realm!"

I sighed as da world around us disappeared. "Brothas, I friggin' hate magic. Seriously, what the frig?"

Mina rolled her eyes. "Okay, now you're just making him sound like Marik."

Yugi shook his head in disappointment. "Mina, none of us have even met that guy yet."

"Spoiler alert," Mina replied, glaring daggers into my spikey haired friend. "Wes've met." She turned to Bakura without bothering to patch up the mess she had made of the fourth wall and TTY7's future stories. "Now, wut goin' on hood rat? What kind o' messed up reality iz dis here?"

Da black nothingness surrounded us as Bakura continued ta laugh.

"Why is you doin' dis here Bakura?" Yugi asked in horror.

"You gots somethin` ah wants an' ah aim ta take it!" His weird necklace began glowing an' 'bfoe ah can blink ah'm alone in da darkness.

"Werd up, where did brothas go?" I asked aloud. "Yo." Muh voice echoed an' it freaked me out as ah continued ta page out ta anyone who might hear me.

"Yugi!"

Nahh answer.

"Tristan!"

Silence

"Tea!"

Mo' silence.

"Mina, Artemis!"

Silence wuz da only thin` dat greeted me when ah called out they names. It wuz all useless.

" _Confounded misery of stupid horror flicks with bloody fish an' chips in it_ ," I thought, lowering myself onto da cold ground. " _Dere's nahh one in sight in dis here place_."

Suddenly, ah see uh flicker o' light in da distance an' then 'bfoe ah can even try ta react muh fine self wuz pulled toward da light in speeds dat would be illegal if ah'd been rollin' and brothas hatin'. Still, hurdling toward uh bright light wuz bettah than being trapped in darkness right? Well, ah couldn't gots been mo' wrong.

As soon as ah opened muh peeps afta being blinded by da light, ah found myself wearing uh dress!

" _What in da world_?" I questioned inwardly as ah looked ova muh foul appearance. Da git-up looked similar ta what da Flame Swordsman wears, but what do dat mean? Ah'm so confused.

"What gives?" I questioned aloud this time, looking left an' right. Then I turned around an' ah swear ah almost peed in deez here pants or skirt.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

( _Screaming is universal in all languages. Remember this kids.)_

Behind me wuz a brotah dat looked like muh motha brotha Yugi, but instead o' being really short dis here pimp wuz uh freaking giant!

"Yugi, you're freakishly huge!" I shouted noting dat ah held uh sword in deez here hands. "Oh, Lord, ah've finally cracked."

"Joey listen ta me," Yugi commanded in uh firm, booming voice. "Yo' soul has been sealed inside yo' favorite card. You've become da Flame Swordsman."

"Ah'M da WHO!?"

( _Joey, ebonics speak works surprisingly well for you.)_

"If ah don' win dis here duel ah can't restore you ta normal, an' if you be defeated you'll be sent ta da graveyard like Tristan wuz."

"GRAVEYARD!" Wait, if Tristan iz dere an' Yugi iz dueling then…where's Tea an' Mina?

"In order fo' me ta win dis here duel, restore you all back ta yo' bodies, an' git us out o' da shadow realm, ah'm going ta need yo' he`p," Yugi continued.

Part o' me wanted ta crawl into uh dark corner an' cry myself ta sleep, but if uh brotha needs muh he`p ah'll do what ah gots ta do.

"You wants dis here he`p you gots dis here he`p an a side of chiken' n' waffles n' cornbread," I told him.

Yugi raised an eyebrow. "Is you sho yo' okay?"

"Okay? I think ah've lost my mind, but ah'm gonna go wif it."

"Very well," Yugi replied.

I nodded an' turned around. "Now…aaaaaaaaaaah! Giant Bakura!"

"Joey, he's not…"

"Now ah know ah'm el pollo loco!" I interrupted. "Ah'm like six inches tall, wearing uh dress, an' now ah'm 'bout to fight dis giant pimp? Dis here iz craziness and mad stupid yo!"

"Dat's not really Bakura," Yugi stated. "An evil spirit from his Millennium ring has taken ova."

I had nahh idea what he wuz jivin' about, but at dis here point ah'm thinkin` dat dis here whole thin` be uh messed up nightmare dat wuz brought on by being attacked by those assassins. Still, ah can't he`p but think dere's mo' ta dis here than ah realize, Ya' dig?

( _We dig. Good work Joey. You're done for the day.)_

Yes! Praise the Lord!

( _Yes, praise him indeed.)_

* * *

Back in Mina's purgatory...

The woman known simply as "The Authoress" sits on a lavish and comfortable purple sofa with a turquoise blue colored laptop resting in her lap. With a grin of unquestionable joy she types away at the keys with long nimble fingers while practicing her malevolent, evil laugh. Minako Aino stands nearby, looking absolutely miserable.

"I can't believe it...you actually have something worse planned for me..."

"Yep," The Authoress replied, not bothering to look up as she continued writing. "But don't worry, I am confident that you will pull through it."

"You know, I'm impressed," Mina offered, taking a seat next to The Authoress. "There's someone out there more horrible in the world than E.E. How could it be possible?"

"Well, for one, I created E.E.'s character. Two, you guys are going to be in the next chapter of this humor fic together."

Mina's eyes widened in horror. "What?"

"Yeah, I'm basing it off of a conversation I had with a friend," The Authoress explained, smiling cheerfully. "It's going to be great fun for all. We'll have special guests like Kaiba, Yami, E.E., Abridged Tristan, Kirei Kotomine..."

"Wait," Mina cut in. "Who's that last one from?"

"Oh, don't worry about it," The Authoress stated simply. "His appearance is brief. And if things go well, I think Sailor Moon might make a short appearance too. We need more Sailor Moon in this, don't you think?"

"Does what I think even matter at this point."

The Authoress smiled brightly. "Nope."

"Then by all means, do what you want."

"Yaaaaaaaay!"

* * *

A/N: Yep, I've officially lost it guys, but hey, if this made you laugh, feel free to tell me so in that comment box below. And if you think this is crazy, direct all yelling to one SuperNova 23, the inspiration behind this piece and overall bad influence on my sanity. Thanks for taking the time to visit Surviving Through Changes: The Out of Order Ebonics Abridged Series. Have a great day everyone! Also, for those keeping up with Golden Strands, I'm sorry that I'm taking so long to update. I've hit a really bad block with it so this is the best I can offer right now. Don't worry though! I'm not going to give up! TTY7 aims to finish what she starts, even if it takes FOREVER!

Okay, maybe not that long, but even if it takes a while, I'll finish most of my Fanfiction works. Anyway, see you guys next time!


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